You can't control the storms...

When it rains it pours....

 and I feel like we've hit a monsoon. 

Moving to the children's hospital tower was great.  It meant that our child was stable enough, and well enough to leave intensive care.  But with that came some anxiety.  In the PICU he was checked every hour and was extensively monitored. When we got up to 8 South his breathing and heart rate got a little wacky and I was nervous.  The nurses were changing, it was 10pm and I couldn't think about falling asleep.  I expressed my concern to the nurse who just came on shift-Luke.  He reassured me and said---"I will check on him every hour for you."

Nurses are saints.

Although I didn't get to bed until 1:30am I felt relived knowing that Luke had an extra eye on Anthony and would alert me if needed.

On Monday Anthony needed a pic inserted for the duration of his stay so that he could get his antibiotic.  He needed sedation for it so that was worrisome, but it should be a short procedure.

  I was a bit upset that when Anthony was transferred for his procedure, we were in the halls with many other people.  A construction worker who had dirt on his jeans and boots jumped on the elevator with us!


I stopped the nurses in the hall and said "You do know my son has a very weak immune system right?  Is there another way we could be taking?"  The answer of course was "No" so I needed an explanation from the Infectious Disease doctors.

I am NOT a helicopter parent.  I let my child drink juice and eat popcorn because I know I'll just drive myself crazy if I read everything on the internet against that stuff.

BUT when you have a sick child--you tend to get a little wacky.  And rightfully so.

So, on Tuesday Anthony was sitting in his little chair smiling and kicking his legs a ton!  His pic was in and all was well.  I was meeting with the Infectious Disease team to express my concerns for Anthony's immune system.

She just got done explaining that I can't keep him in a bubble and a lot of things we just can't control....

And then Anthony out of the blue starts wailing,

I go over and pick him up out of his seat.

And there it is hanging out of his leg, was the pic.  It somehow got detached from his leg.

The transfer to radiology, the sedation, the hours of him not being able to eat ahead of time....all needed to happen all over again.

I held my crying child and I just started crying along with him.

I was weak, and I needed to be.

The doctor just put her arms out and hugged me.

"You deserve a break" she said.

We do.

We deserve a rainbow.